Why Do You Think?


This isn’t the first time that I’ve heard that non-Jews sign up for JDate, the internet’s oldest and most prominent Jewish dating service. In an article that ran in last week’s Jewish Journal of Greater Los Angeles, we learn that 2 percent of the people signing up for JDate aren’t Jewish.

At least, they aren’t yet. The 2 per cent in the article are those who checked off “willing to convert” as their religious affiliation in their profile.

image of dating coupleIf you’re reading this and you aren’t Jewish, probably you’re saying, “So? They like Jews. What’s so weird about that?”

While my Jewish readers, at least some of them, are saying, “They like Jews? What? That’s so weird!”

In fact, the reporter on the piece thought the same thing:

It’s true: While I was hoping for a more insidious answer — “Jewish girls are better in bed; Jewish boys love non-Jewish girls!” — the truth just happens to be … banal. Kate (daters’ names have been changed to protect their privacy), a JDater who is not Jewish, said, “I guess I chose JDate because I knew a lot of people who had done it, and I think it’s one of the older and bigger sites out there.” No secret plot to infiltrate the Zionist clubhouse. Kate is just casting a wide net, trying to cover her bases.

Non-Jewish JDaters say things like, “I have wonderful relationships with Jewish people and have dated quite a few.” Maybe in the current US society, Jewishness is just another flavor, and this is a sign of our acceptance.

Either that, or maybe some people really like JDate. No one I know who has tried has great things to say, but perhaps my sample is skewed!

Why do you think non-Jews are trying JDate?

5 thoughts on “Why Do You Think?”

  • like some of the previous posters said, it’s about widening options. granted, you probably won’t find a lot of Jews utilizing Christian dating sites, but you will see a lot using non-secterian sites like Match.com or OKCupid! that cater to all types of backgrounds and may cost less than JDate. these sites can still be helpful to those who only wish to date within their religion. the latter of the two i mentioned above is free, so that’s already a bonus for strapped-for-cash daters who doesn’t want to shell out money for a site that may not guarantee them a lasting relationship or even a first date.

    while it’s true that a lot of people who’ve used JDate have had less-than-pleasant things to say about it, it’s not the only dating site where things can go wrong. nearly ALL dating sites, regardless of whether they cater solely to one religious group or to the entire planet, have their share of hazards. as per the “willing to convert” option on JDate, i’m curious to find out how many of those users actually went on to do so regardless of whether or not they met anyone on the site.

  • As a Jew who had used jdate on and off for about 6 years, it was partially the bad experiences I had dating through the site (among other factors) that led me to the wonderful relationship I now have with a non-Jew. But when I was on jdate, I was a little amused there were non-Jews on there, and at times offended by the fetishization of Jews that it seemed to imply in some cases, which can happen to any minority. However, I know people who specifically choose to use interracial dating sites, and I guess ultimately some people have preferences for dating outside their group, just like some prefer to date within their group. For me, I went from trying to only date Jews to widening my options and being grateful that love is out there, often in surprising places! So, the more options, the better!

  • The wider the net, the better; the bigger the tent, the better. I vote inclusion and full disclosure. We have enough exclusion in our tradition already, across the denominational and ethnic spectrum. Besides, if the different segments of Judaism can’t even agree about who is a Jew in the first place (birth, conversion details), why be so picky?

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