Talk Like a Jewish Pirate


As some of you may know, today is “International Talk Like a Pirate Day.” I thought this had nothing to do with interfaith families, until I saw this story from the Jewish Journal of Greater Los Angeles on the history of Jewish pirates. Among the nuggets of gold from the article is the fact that a number of pirates were Conversos, Jews who practiced Christianity in public and Judaism in secret to evade the horrors of the Spanish Inquisition. So in a way, every married Converso was intermarried. (It’s a stretch, admittedly, but so was basing a movie on a Disney ride, and look at how that turned out.)

Here are some Jewish pirate-related jokes I’ve heard today:

What do you call Jewish pirates?
    People of the Hook.

What does a Jewish pirate do on Yom Kippur?
    Blows the shof-aarrr.

What did the Jewish pirate say when he heard tekiah?
    “Thar she blows.”

What happens when a Jewish pirate turns 13?
    He has a barrrr mitzvah.

But what does he have to wait until 17 to do?
    See an aarrrr-rated movie.

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